Over twenty years ago I came to know Christ as my savior. As with many new Christians it wasn’t too long before I became luke warm and slid back into the world, unable to resist what the world had to offer. My problem was I wasn’t attending a Bible TEACHING church and I was too spiritually immature to understand the importance of a consistent daily diet of God’s word. Without a daily intake of God’s word and prayer in the Christian life one can not expect to grow spiritually or grow in our relationship with our creator. But God’s nature is not mans nature. The Lord reached a mighty hand to pull me back in on more than one occasion.
The Lord sent me a good wife to tighten the reins on my life. Rededicating my life to God I was enabled to quit drinking and smoking. At this point in my life I decided to start heavy weight training in the gym in order to gain some muscle mass and get in shape. All my life I have been skinny and I wanted to change this fact. So now the devil used another human weakness of our sin nature against me…vanity. I talked myself into using anabolic steroids to reach gains I never thought possible. After all, testosterone is a natural occurrence of the male anatomy, what could it hurt (so I told myself). I did extensive research on almost every anabolic known to science. I went from 155 lbs to 210lbs of lean muscle mass. Most of the side effects are hyped by the media with the exception of anger and rage. But one side not mentioned too often is the elevation of sexual desire to an uncontrollable level. I can now understand why these wrestlers and professional football players are continually being arrested for violence and sex crimes. It was ONLY by the grace of God that my face did not appear on TV under the headliner of a sex crime story; wanted for rape, lude acts or some other horrific crime. Under the influence of steroids my sexual addictions were now out of control.
Jack's Story- Part I
I grew up in a military family like many others. I really had not thought much about the impact of how the military life affected me as a young child, but I can see when I put it all together that it was a starting point for how I would relate to people for a long time. Moving every three or four years was tough, but you learn to adapt and make friends quickly. Unfortunately, however, these friendships were often very shallow. If you weren't moving soon, many of your friends would be. We spent the first two years of my life in Japan, four in Texas, 3 in Hawaii, and then we moved to California when my Dad went to Vietnam. This was when I first came to God and sought his help to understand why things were happening, and why my Dad was going off to war. I was scared!
Religion in our household was a confusing subject. My father's mother was a Christian Scientist, and my father held on to many of those beliefs, but we were brought up knowing there was a God and Heaven. I can remember going to Christian Science Church when visited my Grandmother, but we usually went to regular Sunday School wherever we were living at the time. It was when my Father went to Vietnam that I found a youth group I could really relate with. It was during this time I came to the Lord for guidance and support. I was reborn and gave my life tho Christ at the age of 12. However it was only a short time later my problems really began and I began my life on the run from the Lord. He had no part in my life for the next 30 years.
Fred's Story - Part I
I am admitting I am POWERLESS over my addictions, uncontrollable anger and, compulsive behavior; that my life has become unmanageable.?
Hi, my name is Fred. I was born in the inner city just outside of Boston to parents of the upper lower class income level. My father was an unskilled blue-collar wage worker while my mother stayed at home. She was not a well woman as we grew up. I have a sister who is 4 years younger than me.
As for who I am today I can better reflect back on my life and recognize shortcomings of growing up in my parents household, e.g., learning skills that are not beneficial to me or anyone today, and that my parents took care of their own needs first before those of my sister and me to name just two. I needed nurturing from my mother and affirmation from my father. My father usually worked a second job at night to supplement the low household income of Northeast city dwellers during the 50?s and to provide for my mothers variety of illnesses. Because of this he often came home tired and irritable with little time or interest for family activities. He was, and still is, an active rageaholic, a very nervous and insecure man, and at one time did drink more alcohol than any man needed. Today I know he is a lust and sex addict, still, at the age of 84.
Drew's Story- Part I
My name is Drew and I am addicted to sex and lust. Almost 13 years ago I began recovery from alcohol and have since understood that I am multi-addicted. Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food and sex were among the things I have used to alter my moods. Of course I was always seeking something outside of God and myself that would help me feel better. As I recall my past I know there are gaps. My memory is not real sharp these days, because of my age, my past drug and alcohol abuse, and depression.
My parents were a hard working couple who grew up during the Great Depression and had been on their own by the time they were teenagers. My father was an alcoholic and my mother blamed him for all that we did not have. My older brother became rebellious and was frequently in trouble. I, on the other hand, became the shy, good kid, mostly out of fear.
The Progression of My Addiction
Cliff's Story - Part I
I remember the first time I admitted my addiction to a roomful of strangers. It felt as if I was proclaiming to the world that I was a Nazi or some kind of ax murderer, but soon I realized the wide-spread nature of this addiction among many men and I knew I was not alone, in fact I was among a great majority of people who struggled with lust. It was ignorance and prejudice that caused me to see my own addiction as something separate from me...just as when I thought about food addiction I would picture a 300 pound woman eating chocolates in front of a soap opera, or an alcoholic living out of a cardboard box on skid row. I saw sexual addiction in my mind as a serial rapist or a child molester, certainly not someone like me who never did any of those things. How wrong I was about sexual addiction, especially my own...it was keeping me in denial and darkness.